Some kind of loss

I am in a strange kind of funk.  It comes with the craving for SOMETHING, and I can't put my finger on it.  Do I want to engage in something new and exciting, or something that I have been pawing at for awhile?  Do I run away from everything and embark on an entirely new adventure?  Or do I continue to slow down, take a look at the little things, and actually enjoy every day? 

I felt the same way the last time I returned from Vermont.  I feel like I can see everything that I want in my life, but am unsure as to how I go about getting it.  I do realize that much of the time, that which you manifest is before you (thank you Racing in the Rain) and things will come as they should and as they will.  A difficult concept for a born impatient to master.

Don't mistake me, I have a lot of good going on right now.  And I have a fairly certain idea of what TL will say when I tell him this.  That I already do too much and need to slow down some more.  Usually he is right about that.  I want to be able to take the time to sit for an hour over a cup of coffee and not regret that time.  To stare out the window.  Walk in the woods.  Pet the cat.  But I tend to be raring to go without ever doing those things I so much enjoy.

So how to slow down?  How to engage in something new and work out of this funk but still be mindfull of what is around me?  I know one solution, but living in different cities hinders that a bit.  A lot.  All I really know is that I need SOME KIND of change, be it big or small.

So much rambling.  If anyone has made it this far, I owe you a cookie.  Two if you even understand what I'm trying to say.  I'm not sure I even do.

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